Moo-ha Blog

so i went to lunch at a pho noodle place w/ some co-workers today.

me: why is it that chefs at chinese restaurants are all hispanic?  wouldn’t u expect chinese chefs ?
me:
u know, like that dumpling place in arcadia (ding tai fung)…if u look
in the window where they make dumplings, all the dudes making dumplings
are hispanic…
sam: becuz…if they hired chinese, they would learn all ur secrets and then open up a restaurant exactly like urs next door.
mark: except the menus would be just *slightly* better.
sam: no, even the menus would be exactly the same.

hmm…i guess that explains where pho tai, pho thai, pho king, pho 54, pho 79, pho 87, pho 88, pho 99, etc… all came from…

—

so
we were bored at work the other day and started looking at everyone’s
driver’s licenses.  most reactions were along the lines of "oh my god,
that’s you??" or "dang, u look young.  what happened??"  but then
scotty took out his and all of us were completely shocked.  the sex on
his license said "F"

so
i was like…uhh…scotty…is there something we should know bout u?
scotty goes "well, u see…one time i got pulled over and the cop asked
me: ‘do u know that it says female on ur license for sex?’   i told him
‘yea, it’s a typo’ and the cop goes ‘whew…cuz i was about to say…ur
the *ugliest* woman i’ve ever seen in my life!’

(and the cop got such a good laugh that he didn’t even give scotty a ticket)

ok, so i was talking to a co-workers this morning about how it’s so
strange that i’m literally 5 feet away from him sitting on the desk next to
him (w/o any cubicle walls or anything) but i still AIM (instant
message) him stuff online instead of turning my head to talk to him.

but then, another co-worker who literally sits 2 feet behind me hears this and AIMs me:

Ofaelin: no it isn’t
me: yes it is
Ofaelin: is not
<i say "stop it" out loud>
Ofaelin: you stop it
me: oh yea
me: well well…
Ofaelin: yeah, you want me to come over there and KICK YOUR ASS???
me: oh yea
me: i’ll get my big bro to kick ur big bros ass
me: and i have the new lego star wars set
me: do u?
me: huh huh? do u??
me: yea i thot so
Ofaelin: that’s for babies, baby ken baby ken
me: waaaah
me: im telling mommie on u
<i say "you’re mean" out loud>
Ofaelin: am not
me: are too
me: are too are too are too
Ofaelin: not
Ofaelin: not infinity
me: are too infinity plus 1

hmm…why can’t my conversations w/ my boss be this interesting?…

so i got a nice compliment from a co-worker today.

chris: hey ken!  that shirt looks good on you!
me: uhh…thanks?
chris: <big smile and walks away>

but
after he walks by, i wondered…"did chris just hit on me??"   scotty
goes "well, i was kinda waiting for him to say…’that shirt looks good
on you.  BUT i bet it would look even better *off* of you’"

yikes!!

i got into work this morning and caught of glimpse of joy’s computer screen.  she was browsing a kelly’s blue book site.

me: hey joy, u buyin’ a used car?
joy: no, i’m selling my old one.  i’m getting a benz.
joy: hey, what does our new boss drive?
me: no idea.
joy: dont tell the boss ok?  i don’t want him thinking i must be overpaid cuz i drive a nice car.
me: so u don’t think he’ll ever see u in ur new car?
me: and what about our old boss? u dont care if she sees u pulling into work in ur new benz?
joy: no, i don’t care if she sees it.  she already has one.
me: no she doesn’t.  she drives a mercedes!
joy: …

ugh…i think i need coffee…

so i was asking a co-worker for some restaurant advice yesterday.  here’s how our conversation went:

me: hey, have you been to a restaurant called Nana?  im thinking of taking someone there for dinner.

scotty: no, but have you been to Turkey?…it’s like…a country…and um…you should take them there instead.

me:
have you been to hell?  cuz i hear it’s pretty awesome there.  wild
parties, hot women.  yea, like…if you haven’t gone yet, u should
go there…

well,
to be fair…scotty did have a pretty rough day today. he had a lot of
software "bugs" to fix.  so when we walked out of the meeting room, he
starts rapping: "i…like…big…bugs and i cannot lie.  other brothas
can’t deny…"

ya, it’s been one of those days…

so i went to a baseball game last night and it was a pretty good game.
after the game, i went in my friends car cuz she was driving
and i noticed her car radio was tuned to 104.3 FM which as everyone
knows is K-BIG! (my favorite station).  they were playing coldplay
and i was like "hey, u listen to KBIG too!  that’s awesome. i love
KBIG!"  i’m thinking…yeah, she must think i’m cool now cuz we both like the same station…go me!

she looks at me confused and goes…yeah, this is coldplay
but im not listening to KBIG.  i was like dude, it’s KBIG…it’s
104.3!  i look back at the radio to make sure i’m not seeing
things and i noticed it changed…it’s now on 104.4.  i’m thinking
"dude, why u change the station??"…but the song didn’t change or get
staticy…hmm…

she looks at me laughs…"uhh…that’s the clock, ken…it’s
10:44 now"… doh!

i was
bored today and started bugging my co-worker bantham. "hey, do you
realize your name rhymes with national anthem?"  banthm looked
annoyed.  then he stares back at me and goes "do you realize that if
you were one in a million, and you were from india…there would be a
thousand of you?" 

hmm…he’s got a point…