Archive for June, 2006

AIM-Fighter

Monday, June 26th, 2006

my co-worker jojo and i were really bored today.  so we played street fighter using AIM…

segomon: jojo mojo
segomon: what’s up, im bored
jojo: segomon vs jojo mojo - round 1 Fight
segomon: hadoken!
jojo: whoosh.. Get over here!
jojo: uppercut
segomon: urhgahgiaghghgh
segomon: <gets up>
segomon: <middle block>
segomon: <sweep>
jojo: <low block>
segomon: ALL U KEN! (strong)
jojo: aaaaaarrgggh
segomon: <jump kick>
jojo: uppercut
segomon: OOF!
jojo: teleport. uppercut
segomon: hey! that’s cheap!!!
jojo: teleport uppercut again
segomon: <block middle>
segomon: hadoken!
jojo: block
jojo: mojo charging
segomon: <foward jump>
jojo: mojo charging
jojo: mojo charging
segomon: <jump kick>
jojo: mojo blast!
segomon: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
segomon: JOJO WINS

IP Address

Tuesday, June 20th, 2006

so
i was over at scotty’s desk helping him with something when we hear
complaints coming from raul’s desk.  raul works on the stats and
analyzes ip addresses, browser data, user data, etc.  basically, he’s a
number-cruncher.  so he was all like "man, look at this mess!  none of
this makes any sense.  IP’s all over the place!"  scotty turns to him
and goes "wait, what did u do all over the place…??"

Jobs

Friday, June 16th, 2006

my
co-worker kalia is going to yahoo and her last day is friday.  we had a
weekly meeting today and we were all teasing her.  we’re all like,
yeah…yahoo sucks man, we got everything they got.  we’re better…our
snap jobs is way better than yahoo’s hotjob.  kalia goes "yea, i know snap jobs is awesome.  how do u think i found my job at yahoo?"

doh!

Kalia’s Last Day

Thursday, June 15th, 2006

so
tomorrow’s kalia’s last day at work.  she’s nervous about what she
should say when they announce that she’s leaving.  wisely, she came to
me for my expert advice.

kalia: i wonder what i’m gonna say in today’s team meeting
kalia: tom (our boss) might announce my leaving
me: hmm…
me: how bout…"SO LONG SUCKAS!"

Sucks

Tuesday, June 13th, 2006

so
i found out yesterday that one of my long-time co-workers is leaving.
she’s worked w/ me at various companies for the past 7+ yrs…im gonna
be sad to see her go.  she’s going to yahoo (traitor!) but i wish her
well (not! die yahooligans die!)  jk jk!

on the lighter side, my
brother and sis-in-law got a new baby maltese.  she’s the cutest thing
in the world.  only weighs like 4 lbs and is 8 weeks old.  they take
her out and she’s like a complete babe-magnet.  girls just come up to
them and go "awww so cute!" and ask to pet her and she licks them all
over.  too bad she eats her own poo.  otherwise, i might actually let
her lick me.  it’s kinda ironic that they named their puppy
"candy"…cuz im sure her breath smells something fierce… 

so what does a close co-worker leaving and a dog eating her poo have to do with each other?  well…they both suck crap…

Quips

Friday, June 9th, 2006

at work, we
use this system called "bugzilla" that handles all the bug tracking in
our software.  so when we fix bugs, we log into this bugzilla thing and
at the top of each page is a "quip".  a quip is like a famous (or
useless) quote that any of my co-workers can add to make bugfixing less
boring.  so here are some quips in our bugzilla system.  i think it
gives u a window into the genius minds of some of the people here at
work…

Yeah, I just stare
at my desk, but it looks like I’m working. I do that for probably
another hour after lunch too, I’d say in a given week I probably only
do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.


Well, it’s two o’clock, and that’s quitting time in the research department!

I’ll be honest with
you, I love his music, I do, I’m a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, it
doesn’t get any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman".


Fate is what you call it when you don’t know the name of the person screwing you over.

Join the Army, Meet interesting people, and Kill Them.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck
Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his
beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That’s 100 fools pitied a second.

Mr. T once got into
a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had
cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman
and Webster.

An Arm, a Leg…and Fred

Tuesday, June 6th, 2006

ok, the japanese have always been known for their innovation (creating
weird stuff and putting them on the market).  i thought they were
pretty creative w/ the "arm pillow".  some of u might have seen it
but if not, here it is:

anyways, they came out with the "lap pillow" today.  i bet the
lady who modeled her pale legs for this is makin’ bank!

(notice how the guy is trying really hard not to laugh…)

so i showed this to my co-worker and he wants to market the "freddy pillow"…

so what do u think? even comes with its own
lullabye music: "one, two, freddy’s coming for you…three, four, better lock ur
door…five, six, grab your crucifix…seven, eight, gonna stay up
late…nine, ten, never sleep again"
…ya, we’re pretty bored…